Holy stuff happening since the last time I got on this thing! I had my beautiful baby boy, David Robert, on July 22, 2011. We went home a few days later after I had to have a c-section because he was all sideways and jacked up. Twelve hours later I was back in the hospital with congestive heart failure! YAY ME!!! They let me go home about a week later after draining 36 pounds of fluid out of me. HAHAHA. A day later my baby choked on his spit up and turned blue. HOLY MOTHER OF ALL SCARES. I got him breathing before the ambulance even showed up though... which took all ove three minutes because they are right around the corner.
He was later diagnosed with severe GERD. THEN we discovered he was allergic to dairy and I had to cut out dairy from my diet to nurse him and then turn his formula to Soy when i could no longer nurse. My beautiful baby boy is CHUNKY!!!! Oh my heck! He refuses baby food and only wants real, pureed food. Or he wont eat it!
So I had a job for a bit, but because of my bad hip, I lost it... Which brings me to another point. A dear friend of mine, my baby's godmother, opened my eyes to this wonderful article. The Spoon Theory has helped me to explain to some people what I have to live with, and how it affects me. For the longest time Ive had to just pretend Im nothing but a stuck up, jerkish bitch. Because there was no way for me to explain it to people.
See, there's a reason I keep away from people unless I know them well. There's a reason I struggle to get up in the morning, or to bother with everyday things like washing dishes. Its physically and emotionally exhausting to even think about doing anything more than rolling over in bed. My problems can amount to irritability, sickness, emotional outbursts, crying uncontrollably for no reason, or for the smallest things, and aches and pains. Some days I feel good, others I feel terrible. Mostly Im on the crap end of that stick. So I guess, all I can say about it is I dont have many spoons, and Im almost always low.
Yes, I have debilitating medical issues, one of them is depression. Depression is the main reason for most of my problems and everything said above. Because of this, I constantly want to go out, when im feeling up to it, to try and forget about it, to make it better. When I cant, I pace the house, irritable and grouchy with no one to turn on but my husband. It doesnt help the relationship much. But we do what we can to work it out when it hits rough.
Finances these days dont help that situation, and makes it even more stressful. We work things out the best we can, and try to find hope in everything. Sometimes we cant, and thats when we are at our worst, me with anxiety and panic, hubby with anger and panic...
Moving on, I recently did facepainting/caricatures with my good friend/babys godmother. We did pretty well, and I am always very impressed with her artwork. It amazes me how well someone can do some of the things she does. I'm hoping since Im no longer employed, we can continue with the facepainting/caricature gig. Just gotta find some interested clientelle. I hope I can find SOMETHING...
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